Monday, February 5, 2007

Great God Almighty!

Great God Almighty, but the year 2007 has sucked so far! I already cataloged quite a list of sucky misfortune in my first couple of posts. My new laptop started giving me the dreaded Blue Screen of Death yesterday, and I experienced more than a dozen of them within 24 hours. It was incredibly frustrating. It looks like the culprit was most likely a CD drive that wasn't firmly pushed in, so it wasn't seated properly to its connector. As a result, the controller kept saying, "Hey, there was a device here, but I don't see it any more!" which was causing the blue screens. I was ready to throw something through a window last night.

I'll admit it - I feel stressed up to my eyeballs. Right now I'm working full-time - in a new position that I really don't understand, and I'm not making my early milestones because of laptop problems, so those vaunted first impressions are falling flat - and going to my MBA classes two evenings a week - with two midterms and a project this week - and going to physical therapy for my shoulder twice a week, and providing part-time database support for one of my husband's clients, and managing my freelance flute business, and taking care of the family, and trying to plan our Florida trip for next month and a big vacation for April. I just want to say "Screw it all!" and kick the family out of the house for an entire weekend so that I can have some peace and quiet and relaxation.

We were watching the Superbowl last night. None of us is really into football, but the Superbowl is an important American cultural ritual, and I do enjoy seeing the virtuoso playing once a year or so. But I just couldn't handle the noise. It grated on my nerves, and I desperately fumbled for the remote control to turn it off, off, OFF. The silence was soothing. This morning, since I knew I would be working from home, as my laptop was defunct, I turned off the alarm and just lay in bed for a while, letting my mind wander. After a half hour, the kids woke up, and I listened peacefully to the sounds of their early-morning industriousness. I'll tell you - those 47 minutes of stolen relaxation did more good for my mind, body, and spirit than the entire night's sleep.

I got an email today from a mother-of-the-bride, who is planning a ceremony for mid-May. She was the most organized I've ever seen when it comes to the music! They'd invested in a couple of wedding sampler CDs, so she had a bunch of music picked out for prelude, entrance, and exit music. I was way impressed! Unfortunately, a couple of the chosen pieces were things like "Andante by Mozart." Well. If you're not a musician, "Andante" just means "at about a walking speed." Something titled just "Andante" is most likely one section of a larger work, like a symphony or a concerto. I suspect that in this case, it's actually the Romance movement from Eine Kleine Nachtmusik, but I'm not sure. I found links to some midi files on the internet and sent them back to the mother, so she can help me clarify the ambiguous ones. But she's picked a good selection of music, and I had almost all of it. The one I didn't have is Winter from Vivaldi's The Four Seasons, and I was more than happy to order that sheet music. It gave me the opportunity to order The Celtic Music Fake Book, which I've been coveting for months. :-)

My daughter is in the chorus at her school. Today she came home telling us that their yearbook picture will be taken on Thursday (three days away), and that they are required to wear concert dress. She also told us that their teacher is counting their appearance in class on Thursday in concert dress as a quiz grade. So off we went to the godforsakenWal*Mart to pick up suitable clothes for not a heckuva lot of money. It took some time to pick out the blouse, especially because they're in the process of remodeling the store, so the ladies' clothes are scattered about three different areas. And as we stood in line at the cash register, I was annoyed enough with the children and the store and the lines and the people and the noise to send Robert and Becca to a bench to sit while I finished the transaction. So on Thursday, Becca's wearing one of my black broomstick skirts, a white blouse, and a gorgeous pair of boots that were on clearance. When she put on the full outfit for us this evening, she was breathtaking.

So what am I grateful for today? :Sigh: Little things, which are the most important of all. I'm grateful for the way my husband leaned over and kissed me on the forehead when I brought him lunch after my physical therapy appointment. I'm grateful for the way Becca smiled at me when I lent her a pretty hair ornament that tops off her concert outfit perfectly. I'm grateful that my children have left me in peace and quiet long enough to write this post. I'm grateful that our Australian shepherd Raven is curled up next to me, leaning against my foot. And I'm grateful that I'm here, able to write to you, participating in this life.

Midterm tomorrow night - gotta go study!